Wow.
1 hour. 60 minutes. 3600 seconds.
an integer. a reasonable number. possible.
I spent the last hour going through what photos I have. Facebook, hard drive you name it. And I didn’t finish.
Why?
Because I couldn’t. I physically and mentally could not make myself click next because that’d put me in a dazed state of realizing those moments in those photos won’t come back. A scene, an image, a pixel. Captured of a split second of millions of seconds that have passed since that moment.
The things I’d do to … live my life fuller… keep my mind more open … right my wrongs. Things that I would do…
I suppose the correct message I should tell myself at this point is to … move on. Happy times will come .. eventually. “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”.. right? Then why is it that I keep … turning around. I feel like I want to take a step in the wrong direction because all my life I’ve been told to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving. marching. treading waters of foreign land, unaware of what was to come and as everyone I knew took their time .. one step at a time .. slowly faded from my vision. I stop. To look around. to see…
Nothing.
Wandering aimlessly in a white room with no end in sight. A single clock, nailed to the 2 o’clock of my vision, constantly ticking. tocking. reminding me that it’s not going to stop for anyone.
I need a reason.
- 9 weeks ago: temple run
- 8 weeks ago: cinnamon challenge
- 7 weeks ago: YOLO
- 6 weeks ago: Kony
- 5 weeks ago: Draw Something
- 4 weeks ago: The Hunger Games
- 3 weeks ago: Lotto
- 2 weeks ago: Ridiculously Photogenic Guy
- Last Week: Titanic
- This Week: Tupac resurrected
- Next Week: Alt + Reblog
The XX - Stars
You’re full of Bull.
Paint: An application of some sort of material industrialized and manufactured to cover up mistakes and fallacies … faults … on the surface of the appearance of whatever the Paint is being applied to.
A cover up, is all Paint really is. But there’s always going to be that bottom layer of old paint that you probably didnt take off and that’s where everything, the true character of the appearance is. There’s a new look, a new color, a new image … but the same feel.
As my current apartmentmates and I discuss living arrangements for next quarter … I realize how few people I actually know. Sure, I got my frat and I know a few people but … I havent made any really good friends OUTSIDE of it all. I don’t know what it is but I just don’t have it in me to get to know people. I find it weird to ask a dude for his number to hang out and I find it intimidating to ask a girl for her number because well … to be frank I’m a total pansy about that. Maybe next quarter I’ll sum up some courage to do SOMETHING.
I’m going to be an Orientation leader this year, which is gonna be so sick. I’m gonna interact with a bunch of other people, and more importantly, meet them freshman and welcome them to SD. My OL’s made such a huge impact on me during my orientation and I hope I do the same for my orientees.
I’ve been hearing a lot of stories about people going to med school and all their wonders and achievements about going out of their way and creating something. One guy created a non-profit organization in highschool where he’d take a group of doctors to India and there they’d teach medicine and treat people. A high schooler doing ALL of that, and it’s become an annual thing. The suicide rate at my school has nearly doubled this year, and it’s quite depressing. I think I want to start some anonymous org to … make an effort to make conversation with someone, because i think everyone could use a “hi, how are you today”. We’ll see how that goes.
College is about meeting people and making it worthwhile… and I’m slacking. Gotta pull up my pants, tighten my belt, and roll up my sleeves.
“Hi! How are you today?”
